Honesty and Forgiveness = Healing

I think honesty and forgiveness are the key to healing.

Honesty. To be able to even begin to heal, grow, move on, we have to be honest about the pain, the experience, the choices we've made, the regrets we have, the temptations we have succumbed to, the temptations we want to succumb to, our weakness, our frailty.. our sin. We have to go there. There cannot be complete healing without honesty. Honesty requires humility, it requires exposure. There are a couple lyrics running through my head- "That secret that you know, that you don't know how to tell.. it f's with your honor, and it teases your head" -Bon Iver, and a One Republic song that goes "..Till my sleeves are stained red, from all the truth that I've said... I'm gonna give all my secrets away.." I like that imagery, because honesty gets messy, bloody, it does. Hiding can work for a little while, sure, it allows you to continue doing whatever is you want and no one else knows.. it almost makes it less real because you are the only one experiencing it. Secrets can almost be kind of a thrill sometimes, it can feel like power almost because you have total control of what parts of your life the rest of the world knows. It makes you feel like well, you're in control. I am who I create myself to appear to be. I am who I want them to see. But the truth is, thats not power at all, its fear. Its fear, insecurities, pride. All that is, is a scared little girl, afraid of being known, ashamed of who she is, succumbing to the flesh, giving into selfishness and pride. Its fear, and its binding. The complete opposite of power. When you are hiding, living with secrets, you are not living at all. You are completely controlled by fear, by lies. That. Is. Darkness. Honesty, is that one flame that sheds light on the darkness, that exposes all that is hidden. It smites fear. Its smites pride. (Smite- 1. strike with a firm blow; 2. defeat or conquer). The hardest part is striking that match, is setting ablaze that which is unknown. But once the flame is lit, it burns with ferocity. Honesty exposes all. There is so much freedom in being known. Deceit, pride, sin, has no power over you. Its like that one little pebble that is holding back that huge waterfall trying to flow, and once that little pebble is removed, that huuuuuge gush of water breaks through and flows freely, clearing everything in its path. So here's what I would say, speak. Tell someone. Grab your daddy's hand, a friend, and be known. Don't let fear beat you, you are stronger than that, you are better than that. Fight it. Don't give into those voices telling you to keep your secrets. Sing with me "I'm gonna give all my secrets away".

K. So now we've confessed (apologies for the dramatic word but thats exactly what it is- confession. Its like the purest freshest glass of water you could have after way too much time in the desert). No more secrets. We're naked on the platform, sure theres one way to put it haha. Now what? Well, here's the bitch.. forgiveness. Forgiveness for those that may have wronged you or hurt you and.. forgiveness for yourself. This is when we let go. If we do not forgive, we only continue to carry the burden. We carry the pain, we carry the sin, we carry the hurt. It will be written on the tablet of our heart because unforgiveness has a firm grip. Like secrets, unforgiveness will guide your life, determine your footsteps, it will rule you. Forgiveness equals coming to terms with the fact that we are broken. Forgiving others is letting go of the wrong that has been done unto you. That hurts. We don't get to hold that over the other person's head anymore. We don't get to look at them with hateful eyes, we don't get to push our pain on them.. we have to own it. Owe. Then, when we need forgiveness, now thats humbling. That requires us seeing ourselves for what we are- human. We are not good, we don't have anything figured out, we are not righteous, we are just.. human. If we stay stuck at beating ourselves up, we never get past the sin- we are still letting it have power over us.. its still coming back to us. Forgiveness can only be found at the foot of the cross. We can't conjure that up, that requires complete surrender. O that word.. surrender. It can be hard to swallow, but it is life.

"All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now."

Worldly pleasures all forsaken, take me Jesus, take me now. Forgiveness requires letting go- surrendering.

I am frail. I am weak. I am broken. I am a sinner.

Then there's Jesus.