Jai Ho

my stomach may be in knots, I may feel tired and lonely, I may feel unsure or unsettled, I may doubt and question and fight, I may want to turn around, I may feel weak and confused, I may not understand or still be unconvinced... But i stepped. I didn't stay put. And that's when the adventure ensues. Living for something greater than my own heart, my own feelings or experiences.. believing, trusting that there is something out there greater than myself. Embracing my insignificance and futility- letting go of self preservation. not only looking through the world with my own eyes- my perspective is jacked, my eyes can only see me in the world... and its so much greater than that. maybe, my feelings aren't the end of the world, maybe thats not the guiding force... maybe theres something more to live by.. to live for, than just how an experience can feel, how much more I can prove my significance, value, or worth... I will always come up short, it will never enough. this world was not created to prove my worth, i was not created and put in this world to find significance here- i will always fall short. as far as this world goes, i will never be enough, i will always sin, temptations will win, selfishness will consume me, pride will guide me --> this life/adventure/journey does not start and end with me. I don't live to be great, what a wasteful effort, simply, i'm just not. I can't live this life waiting for my heart to be fixed, I can't keep waiting until I find the strength to stop being tempted and giving in to sin.. it's not going to happen. I am broken. I will always sin. I will fall short and fail, always. And that is what brings me to my knees when Jesus looks at me and sees all this and then... died for me. What is there to die for? Why? Because he loves me. He has overcome the broken heart, the sin, the temptations, selfishness, and pride.. He has overcome. He is the victory. He holds my broken heart and whispers, "Jai Ho- Victory to thee. Victory to thee because you are mine. Victory to thee because I have done for you what you cannot do for yourself. I have won, I have overcome what you are unable to overcome. I have fought and won the battle that you would have lost, I have conquered that which would have destroyed you, I have overcome what you would have succumbed to. I am your victory. Hold onto me. Victory to thee. Surrender your heart. Victory to thee. Live for me. Victory to thee." I live for greatness, for overcoming, for victory. I was found, fought for, wanted and loved. Jai Ho.

To those who are afraid for tomorrow,
To those who have lost love,
who have been taken from,
who have taken,
To those that are far from home,
To those suffering,
To those remaining in silence,
Jai Ho.