the unexpected.

so i'm back. i put together a little slideshow with some of the pictures and my three favorite songs that i listened to during the trip... and i spent forever trying to get it to load on here but I can't figure it out right now, and now I'm tired and needing to go to sleep so I will figure it out another time... but soon.

I think I may continue writing on this blog, because I don't think India will stop changing my life just because I don't happen to be there for the time being. So, I think I will still write.

So... I knew India was going to be incredible and I didn't doubt that it was going to be an amazing experience, but I wasn't expect to fall in love with myself. For the first time, when I look in the mirror, I see beauty. I have never been able to say that before. And this caught me completely off guard. But you know what they say, it happens when you least expect it. I finally stopped trying to pick up all of the broken pieces and Jesus continues to fill in all of the empty spaces. He accepts my heart exactly as it is, today, right now, and His love is changing me. He's taken over everything, when I look at my heart, all I can see is Him, and its beautiful. My brokenness and complete imperfection is beauty because that is where Jesus overcomes, "For when I am weak, then I am strong". And all of a sudden it makes sense, it doesn't stop with me, I am not the end all, I don't have the answers. I will continue to doubt, experience pain, make a million and a half mistakes and stupid choices, my faith will be weak and fail me all throughout my life... but Jesus never changes. He will always remain. Truth will always remain. No matter what may happen in life, Jesus does not change. This does not come back to us, our perspective, our faith.. it goes back to Jesus, which is why this is everlasting, which is why we can put our full complete hope in Him. It really is this remarkable love story. This is no religion we follow, there are no rules or rights and wrongs that make us worthy- that will always fail us because it comes back to us, and what we can do to be 'better', to be accepted, to be worthy of love, to be wanted. But we are wanted just because Jesus loves us. We are already enough, and broken! Its time to stop trying to be something or stop trying to live life a certain way that we see as "acceptable" and start falling in love. Lets live each day for this love and be giddy knowing that we are part of the greatest love story, in fact its the one that our hearts cry for in the deepest parts of our being... the one that we try and silence day to day just so we can make it through, because we want this so bad, its almost painful to face. But, lets be courageous, lets face it. Lets give in. Let's be free- that is Jesus calling- to join in this never ending dance with Him. Let's let ourselves twirl and spin and dip.. and just know you are the most beautiful one on the dance floor, because you are in Jesus's arms.. and in Him there is nothing but beauty.